Notes from Self to self
“You must stay very close to the truth now", my inside teacher says to me.
"And you know just what this means;
More energy devoted to hearing the truth about yourself,
More time dedicated to crafting what you've heard as the gift you give the world.
You have become toxic now from the ideas of the world by your own consumption,
And you are psychically sick.
To flush out the fear with which you have chosen to live,
Detox your psyche with a steady stream of truth.
The truth will act as a cosmic and holy sieve.
And all you are to focus on in this restoring time,
Is “Hear the words I speak, and give them to the world”.
But to this end, you will need periods away from the learning of the world;
time out of time; where you are neither parent nor child, mate nor worker;
Time where you are nothing but the Christ asleep, yet wanting to waken.
This devotion to remembering, however brief it may be,
will bring glimpses of a state you have so longed to see,
The state where you listen only to the words love gives you,
and you are giving them away in the way Love shows you.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
"I Am Entrusted With The Gifts of God"
I AM ENTRUSTED WITH THE GIFTS OF GOD
11/11/09
In the ACIM workbook lesson " I am entrusted with the gifts of God",
our teacher tells us of the gifts of God that are ours w/o exception and without condition.
Then the reasons why, despite gifts like these, we still suffer like we do.
The gifts of God are described here like this;
"He gives you everything.
Then He gives to you w/o exception, and holds nothing back that could contribute to
your happiness in any way".
Then, of course, we are introduced to the aspect of ourselves that will not see these
gifts,
despite their persistent obviousness.
This aspect would rather suffer the tragedies of time and deprivation than to see these
gifts there beside him.
Much less the Giver of these gifts, also staying very close by.
Why in the world would I rather suffer than receive a life of ease and grace?
The lesson explains it thus;
while we still want something other than the Will of God,
we will not see these gifts that go with us all the while we look down.
And while I think I want something besides what God wants for me,
I will believe to accept what God wants for me is to lose everything I hold dear;
even to "be pressed into treachery against myself", the lesson states.
So I consent to suffer only to preserve the world I made.
The Christ in "threadbare clothes";
the image of ourselves that now we hold, says the Course.
Now we are invited to look again at this figure our self cuts walking through time;
the figure who has nothing to show for all their good intentions;
the saintly figure of compassion wearing worn out clothes while theys works tirelessly for
others?
the figure wanting only to be of service consenting to suffer the terrors of time and
money?
And all this begs a question, how could a Christ not know who they are?
And think they needed go without for any reason?
The Christ is deceived in himself,
thinking she is something and someone else.
And wanting to remain who they thinks they have become.
But in a holy instant of sweet clarity,
this figure stops a moment, compelled by a quiet voice,
saying "you might be more, Listen",
Which starts a cascade of remembering,
upon which floats the beginnings of a new world.
In Gratitude to you,
Anna
Hi mighty companions of The Love,
This is an entry I wrestled with resistance to produce. I only kept at it because I sensed it was an important part of my curriculum at this time. Only after finishing it do I understand why all the resistance. It took me 3 weeks to complete one entry. It seems to represent something I have hidden from myself and kept as a mystery to me.
The mystery of why, despite my loving purpose, I still struggle the way I do. The mystery of why, with all my desire to heal and be healed, I still suffer like I do. For weeks now I have been sensing my Teacher urging me to look once again upon this "sorry figure" the Course describes. This figure that has it all but doesn't see it, and sabotages the glimpses they do have.
This is an entry I wrestled with resistance to produce. I only kept at it because I sensed it was an important part of my curriculum at this time. Only after finishing it do I understand why all the resistance. It took me 3 weeks to complete one entry. It seems to represent something I have hidden from myself and kept as a mystery to me.
The mystery of why, despite my loving purpose, I still struggle the way I do. The mystery of why, with all my desire to heal and be healed, I still suffer like I do. For weeks now I have been sensing my Teacher urging me to look once again upon this "sorry figure" the Course describes. This figure that has it all but doesn't see it, and sabotages the glimpses they do have.
In the ACIM workbook lesson " I am entrusted with the gifts of God",
our teacher tells us of the gifts of God that are ours w/o exception and without condition.
Then the reasons why, despite gifts like these, we still suffer like we do.
The gifts of God are described here like this;
"He gives you everything.
Then He gives to you w/o exception, and holds nothing back that could contribute to
your happiness in any way".
Then, of course, we are introduced to the aspect of ourselves that will not see these
gifts,
despite their persistent obviousness.
This aspect would rather suffer the tragedies of time and deprivation than to see these
gifts there beside him.
Much less the Giver of these gifts, also staying very close by.
Why in the world would I rather suffer than receive a life of ease and grace?
The lesson explains it thus;
while we still want something other than the Will of God,
we will not see these gifts that go with us all the while we look down.
And while I think I want something besides what God wants for me,
I will believe to accept what God wants for me is to lose everything I hold dear;
even to "be pressed into treachery against myself", the lesson states.
So I consent to suffer only to preserve the world I made.
The Christ in "threadbare clothes";
the image of ourselves that now we hold, says the Course.
Now we are invited to look again at this figure our self cuts walking through time;
the figure who has nothing to show for all their good intentions;
the saintly figure of compassion wearing worn out clothes while theys works tirelessly for
others?
the figure wanting only to be of service consenting to suffer the terrors of time and
money?
And all this begs a question, how could a Christ not know who they are?
And think they needed go without for any reason?
The Christ is deceived in himself,
thinking she is something and someone else.
And wanting to remain who they thinks they have become.
But in a holy instant of sweet clarity,
this figure stops a moment, compelled by a quiet voice,
saying "you might be more, Listen",
Which starts a cascade of remembering,
upon which floats the beginnings of a new world.
In Gratitude to you,
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Plugging Into The Love Field
Flying home in a first class seat, I am excited by the novelty and the prospect of being pampered. What really happens is that I have to buy my own snack after an hour and a half into the flight, and I am irritated by my hunger and the absence of food in a first class seat. My seat companion seems as satisfied with his blackberry as I wish and pretend I am by mine. I am bored to tears by the mental cotton candy I give myself from the pocket in front of me. Finally bored with my boredom , I decide that I will just close my eyes and listen within to see if I could hear anything interesting. I imagine myself going to a cosmic radio dial to see if I might find find something interesting. I imagine my mind as some kind of cosmic library with unlimited access. The blasphemy-like arrogance of my boredom becomes glaringly obvious. The potential of what was accessible to me focused my attention, and I was then ready to focus my attention inward. I felt some sort of psychic movement beginning to flow around me, and I felt an urge to write. As if on cue, my “snack” arrives after almost 2 hours in flight. I finish my hummus and chips and pull out my computer.
As if being silently nudged with an audio/visual idea, I remember that I can engage the substance and love of the universe to draw to me what I desire. What is it that I want again? And how does this engagement with this substance happen? Oh yes, I want true wealth. I want a quality of life characterized by freedom from fear or worry around lack or loss. I want A quality of life where I experience my needs and desires being fulfilled naturally and effortlessly as a result of my open and loving state of mind.
I want a state of mind and life where I experience my needs easily met and my desires spontaneously fulfilled. I want to feel joy, health, and aliveness as my natural state. This is the quality of life I will ask for today. I ask and then I listen,
This is what I hear: “You must remember the truth of the source of all material effects, and then practice the habit of utilizing your thoughts to access and draw that which you desire.
You are creating a practice of focusing your intent along the lines of your organizing purposes and then you wait, like a child to see how the universe colors in the shapes outlined by your unifying purpose.
Here's the other truth that can be discerned at will:
The stuff of the universe, it's substance and energy,
The unified field of energy and substance;
also called the zero point field,
also called the cosmic singularity and the “membrane” of the universe, is the building blocks of every materialized thing. It is molded by thought- formed into language maybe, but formed along lines of preconceived ideas.
A Course in Miracles reminds us to remind ourselves that we are sustained by the love of God. It offers this to remind us what it really is that sustains us in our every need. It is not money, it is not other people and how they esteem us. It is not medicine or knowing the right people, it is in remembering the love our creator has for us as a matter of course. Not because of anything specific, but because the creator of the universe cannot do anything but love creation. It is love. We were created as love.
The substance of the universe that the physicists tell us responds to our every energetic impulse, is this “love of god” the Course says lifts us out of every trial and brings us into a climate of peace.
God's love is a fabric of energy from which all form emerges into being.
The source of material form is rarely if ever recognized. It is used unconsciously.
But when it is used consciously, in recognition of its power,
It becomes a resource for all manner of needed and wanted things, material and otherwise.
That unified field of energy substance the physicists call the zero point field contains all the energy required to create the big bang. That's a lot of energy. Certainly enough energy to bring an idea into material form. Indeed, that's nothing for energy of that sort.
And so again I remember to clarify my intent ; my universe organizing purpose, and I ask again:
“I now call forth from the unified field of infinite possibility,
All material and non-material means necessary for my experience of true wealth,
According to the Will of God, and FOR the Will of God.
About Money:
I ask ask for the amount of money that enables me to forget about money.
I ask for enough money, that all I do is for love and service.
I want to give and be not afraid.
I want to love without thought to what I will take.
I want to share because that is what love does,
And be not concerned about what next comes.
Father in Light give me all that I need,
that I might care for your children without greed.
I only want that I might give,
A place of peace in which we, unaware, already live.
Blessing You My friends,
Anna
Flying home in a first class seat, I am excited by the novelty and the prospect of being pampered. What really happens is that I have to buy my own snack after an hour and a half into the flight, and I am irritated by my hunger and the absence of food in a first class seat. My seat companion seems as satisfied with his blackberry as I wish and pretend I am by mine. I am bored to tears by the mental cotton candy I give myself from the pocket in front of me. Finally bored with my boredom , I decide that I will just close my eyes and listen within to see if I could hear anything interesting. I imagine myself going to a cosmic radio dial to see if I might find find something interesting. I imagine my mind as some kind of cosmic library with unlimited access. The blasphemy-like arrogance of my boredom becomes glaringly obvious. The potential of what was accessible to me focused my attention, and I was then ready to focus my attention inward. I felt some sort of psychic movement beginning to flow around me, and I felt an urge to write. As if on cue, my “snack” arrives after almost 2 hours in flight. I finish my hummus and chips and pull out my computer.
As if being silently nudged with an audio/visual idea, I remember that I can engage the substance and love of the universe to draw to me what I desire. What is it that I want again? And how does this engagement with this substance happen? Oh yes, I want true wealth. I want a quality of life characterized by freedom from fear or worry around lack or loss. I want A quality of life where I experience my needs and desires being fulfilled naturally and effortlessly as a result of my open and loving state of mind.
I want a state of mind and life where I experience my needs easily met and my desires spontaneously fulfilled. I want to feel joy, health, and aliveness as my natural state. This is the quality of life I will ask for today. I ask and then I listen,
This is what I hear: “You must remember the truth of the source of all material effects, and then practice the habit of utilizing your thoughts to access and draw that which you desire.
You are creating a practice of focusing your intent along the lines of your organizing purposes and then you wait, like a child to see how the universe colors in the shapes outlined by your unifying purpose.
Here's the other truth that can be discerned at will:
The stuff of the universe, it's substance and energy,
The unified field of energy and substance;
also called the zero point field,
also called the cosmic singularity and the “membrane” of the universe, is the building blocks of every materialized thing. It is molded by thought- formed into language maybe, but formed along lines of preconceived ideas.
A Course in Miracles reminds us to remind ourselves that we are sustained by the love of God. It offers this to remind us what it really is that sustains us in our every need. It is not money, it is not other people and how they esteem us. It is not medicine or knowing the right people, it is in remembering the love our creator has for us as a matter of course. Not because of anything specific, but because the creator of the universe cannot do anything but love creation. It is love. We were created as love.
The substance of the universe that the physicists tell us responds to our every energetic impulse, is this “love of god” the Course says lifts us out of every trial and brings us into a climate of peace.
God's love is a fabric of energy from which all form emerges into being.
The source of material form is rarely if ever recognized. It is used unconsciously.
But when it is used consciously, in recognition of its power,
It becomes a resource for all manner of needed and wanted things, material and otherwise.
That unified field of energy substance the physicists call the zero point field contains all the energy required to create the big bang. That's a lot of energy. Certainly enough energy to bring an idea into material form. Indeed, that's nothing for energy of that sort.
And so again I remember to clarify my intent ; my universe organizing purpose, and I ask again:
“I now call forth from the unified field of infinite possibility,
All material and non-material means necessary for my experience of true wealth,
According to the Will of God, and FOR the Will of God.
About Money:
I ask ask for the amount of money that enables me to forget about money.
I ask for enough money, that all I do is for love and service.
I want to give and be not afraid.
I want to love without thought to what I will take.
I want to share because that is what love does,
And be not concerned about what next comes.
Father in Light give me all that I need,
that I might care for your children without greed.
I only want that I might give,
A place of peace in which we, unaware, already live.
Blessing You My friends,
Anna
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Universe And All That Waits For Our Asking
The truly abundant life is all about receiving.
Not earning. Not sacrificing, but receiving.
But you have to ask for the new that you want; really clarify it and set the intent for it.
A Course In Miracles makes reference to “the storehouse of treasures laid up for you but for which you must ask. This is not a condition as the world sets conditions; you get rewards when you prove yourself.
The reason you have to ask for what you want, is to counteract our self hating mind that a long unremembered time ago decided it wanted loss and pain and then hid this desire in the cloak of victimhood. This unconscious aspect of our mind believes that we only have what we take and then counsels that we must protect ourselves from its loss by attacking others. So now we get honest about what we have been asking for and update our universe requests.
We must learn to remember the true nature of the universe as something created for us by a loving creator. It is a universe created to be infinitely responsive to our every thought and desire. The universe and all its laws was something set up that we may extend the creator's function of creation by being creators like Him. We live in a universe created to respond to us. It isn't judgmental of what we want, whether it be for love or fear, It just says “yes, here's what you asked for”.
Our new practice must be to bring what we are asking for out of the habitual realm of the unexamined mind and reshape and restate what we want to experience now. All we are experiencing is at some level the universe responding to what we are asking for, and so now we ask again for what we've remembered we really want.
So today I ask:
I now call forth from the unified field of infinite potential
all means necessary for my experience of ------------------,
according to the will of God, and for the will of God.
And I ask again:
I choose to feel now what I would be feeling when I am experiencing ----.
And I ask yet again:
I who am host to God am worthy of ----------------------.
It is not needful that to prepare myself for ------------------.
For The Love that created me, created me worthy of this experience.
I need do nothing except to ask,
and not interfere with Love's plan
to give it to me Itself.
And I acknowledge my willingness:
I will not trade the experience of -------------------for any grievances around---------------------.
Blessed Is Your Askings,
Anna
The truly abundant life is all about receiving.
Not earning. Not sacrificing, but receiving.
But you have to ask for the new that you want; really clarify it and set the intent for it.
A Course In Miracles makes reference to “the storehouse of treasures laid up for you but for which you must ask. This is not a condition as the world sets conditions; you get rewards when you prove yourself.
The reason you have to ask for what you want, is to counteract our self hating mind that a long unremembered time ago decided it wanted loss and pain and then hid this desire in the cloak of victimhood. This unconscious aspect of our mind believes that we only have what we take and then counsels that we must protect ourselves from its loss by attacking others. So now we get honest about what we have been asking for and update our universe requests.
We must learn to remember the true nature of the universe as something created for us by a loving creator. It is a universe created to be infinitely responsive to our every thought and desire. The universe and all its laws was something set up that we may extend the creator's function of creation by being creators like Him. We live in a universe created to respond to us. It isn't judgmental of what we want, whether it be for love or fear, It just says “yes, here's what you asked for”.
Our new practice must be to bring what we are asking for out of the habitual realm of the unexamined mind and reshape and restate what we want to experience now. All we are experiencing is at some level the universe responding to what we are asking for, and so now we ask again for what we've remembered we really want.
So today I ask:
I now call forth from the unified field of infinite potential
all means necessary for my experience of ------------------,
according to the will of God, and for the will of God.
And I ask again:
I choose to feel now what I would be feeling when I am experiencing ----.
And I ask yet again:
I who am host to God am worthy of ----------------------.
It is not needful that to prepare myself for ------------------.
For The Love that created me, created me worthy of this experience.
I need do nothing except to ask,
and not interfere with Love's plan
to give it to me Itself.
And I acknowledge my willingness:
I will not trade the experience of -------------------for any grievances around---------------------.
Blessed Is Your Askings,
Anna
Monday, October 5, 2009
Hi Friends,
I am convinced by my own experience that there is nothing that is true, healing and universal that I cannot receive or perceive when I am able to still my mind for even a few moments. As the Course tells us, " In quietness are all things answered, and is every problem quietly resolved". And while the mind is in conflict, meaning not quiet, no resolution can be seen or received. The Course also tells us that when you access that quiet mind, you have reached a state of mind where the answers are already there, just waiting for you! If the answers are already there in that "other state of mind", how do we get to this "other state of mind"?
If I can just hold open my mind long enough,
there is no truth I cannot receive,
No answer that can be barred from me,
No vision beyond my perception,
And no healing beyond my reception.
Only the right conditions are required to receive,
Not worthiness achieved.
Only my open mind is required to receive all that is already there waiting for my acceptance.
What is an open mind?
It is A mind that, for an instant, no more and no less,
is not deciding anything by itself based on its own past experience.
An open mind is a mind that for a moment, is not generating its own ideas or plans to meet any specific needs.
For a moment the mind is open only to receive what it has has not yet heard, from a Mind with far more perspective than its own.
In a moment such as this, nothing is impossible, for there is no past to dictate what is possible.
This open-mindedness is the practice that makes peace possible, and it is the place from which all miracles are born.
Once again today we practice the holy instant ,
Stretching and strengthening our spiritual muscles to enlarge our capacity to accept the Heaven that is ours now.
Blessed is Your Practice,
Anna
I am convinced by my own experience that there is nothing that is true, healing and universal that I cannot receive or perceive when I am able to still my mind for even a few moments. As the Course tells us, " In quietness are all things answered, and is every problem quietly resolved". And while the mind is in conflict, meaning not quiet, no resolution can be seen or received. The Course also tells us that when you access that quiet mind, you have reached a state of mind where the answers are already there, just waiting for you! If the answers are already there in that "other state of mind", how do we get to this "other state of mind"?
If I can just hold open my mind long enough,
there is no truth I cannot receive,
No answer that can be barred from me,
No vision beyond my perception,
And no healing beyond my reception.
Only the right conditions are required to receive,
Not worthiness achieved.
Only my open mind is required to receive all that is already there waiting for my acceptance.
What is an open mind?
It is A mind that, for an instant, no more and no less,
is not deciding anything by itself based on its own past experience.
An open mind is a mind that for a moment, is not generating its own ideas or plans to meet any specific needs.
For a moment the mind is open only to receive what it has has not yet heard, from a Mind with far more perspective than its own.
In a moment such as this, nothing is impossible, for there is no past to dictate what is possible.
This open-mindedness is the practice that makes peace possible, and it is the place from which all miracles are born.
Once again today we practice the holy instant ,
Stretching and strengthening our spiritual muscles to enlarge our capacity to accept the Heaven that is ours now.
Blessed is Your Practice,
Anna
Friday, September 25, 2009
Anna's First Blog
Greetings All,
I am Anna. This is my first extension into the blogosphere. I write tonight for the same reason I always write; I write to hear what I am thinking. Sounds narcissistic, I realize, but only as I listen to my own thoughts can I also hear a quieter voice beneath them. And only as I listen to the things I am telling myself, am I able to call upon a Voice with a greater love and a higher perspective on me. I listen for that Voice that is telling me a profoundly different story than I am telling myself. I am always shocked by the comparison of the two stories. But I only hear the second one after I have uncovered the first. “The ego always speaks first”, the Course reminds us.
There is some part of me that resists, so persistently, hearing my thoughts, that on some days, there is no activity less acceptable than listening to my own thoughts. On those days listening to anything else is better; the awful news, other people’s excuses for not living their own lives, and things that have no real use to me at all. I desperately need to write so that my Self does not languish in avoidance. I need to write so that my Self can teach me about myself. This is the thing that I need more than anything in the world. My only need is to know myself and the beauty and power it possesses. Only then the uncertainty of self that haunts me will be replaced forever by certainty in myself. A Course In Miracles teaches us that to know yourself is to know all of creation, and even God.
If in my writing to know myself and hence God, I inspire you to take that risk and to reap those rewards, then I am deeply humbled in gratitude.
Miracles Are Natural,
Anna
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